Reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
I think I always have known that emotional intelligence is a factor to achieve satisfaction and happiness in life. What I am beginning to understand is that Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be taught and learned as a skill. I think it is most powerful when taught to children so that they internalize the approaches and self-diagnose to affect their thoughts and feelings; which could help them to become healthier adults.
Fortunately, many people get these skills through society and culture via introspection habits and learnings from family, friends, and religion. Habits of prayer, meditation, mentoring, etc. are ways people become aware of their feelings and constructively address their mindset in a positive manner. However, I think many people haven't naturally developed a framework to manage their feelings into constructive thoughts.
I am beginning to understand that these kinds of self-diagnosis skills lead to people begin described as "mature," "calm," or "cool;" vs. "frantic," "angry," "frustrated."
In the book, Goleman highlights the evidence of lack of EI in society and the impacts to violence as people don't cycle through EI methods to rationalize their feelings and take actions based on their feelings of being "offended" or "dissed" v. assessing the consequences of taking action.
The implication of this is that regardless of socio-economic background these skills can be used to prepare children for successful lives. Daniel Goleman Ph.D. describes a program that he and several researchers have designed as social and emotional learning (SEL).
Factors of emotional intelligence from the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL):
- Self-Awareness: identifying your thoughts, feelings, and strengths, and recognizing how they influence choices and actions
- Social Awareness: identifying and understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, developing empathy, and being able to take the perspective of others
- Self-Management: Handling emotions so that they facilitate rather than interfere with the task at hand; setting long- and short-term goals, and dealing with obstacles that may come your way
- Responsible Decision Making: Generating, implementing, and evaluating positive and informed solutions to problems, and considering the long-term consequences of your actions for yourself and others
- Relationship Skills: Saying no to negative peer pressure and working to resolve conflicts in order to maintain healthy and rewarding connections with individuals and groups.
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